Insurance Hell

There are a bunch of things in life that make me cringe just at the thought. Going to the dentist, tax returns, moving, going through security at LAX or JFK, etc. These things make me cringe because they are, in one way or another, painful. It's either physically painful or figuratively painful, and usually very time-consuming. Few things upset me more than having to deal with healthcare-related paperwork. To be clear, I am very thankful to have health insurance. Many Americans don't. The system is totally screwed up. Recently, there have been some health issues that we've had to deal with, and I just have no idea what we would do if we didn't have insurance. Not to mention that Labor and Delivery at Cedars Sinai cost $20,000 bucks - with insurance, we only paid $400! If we didn't have insurance, I would have been on www.howcast.com and wikipedia, learning how to deliver a baby! As usual, I digress.

My brother Timmy and sister-in-law Judy graciously came over to help out with Lina today so that Liz and I could take care of some stuff. Not go to dinner or to a movie. All we wanted to do was catch up on every day life, maintenance tasks, that we have neglected for a while. Liz went to CVS and Ralph's while I stayed home to finally look through some unresolved insurance paperwork. Basically, United Healthcare insurance has not reimbursed us for the Ob-Gyn services, which are pretty pricey. It's not like L&D, but it's no small amount. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND INSURANCE STATEMENTS. Maybe I'm stupid or just really slow, but I have never been able to read an insurance account statement and really understand it. First of all, the information is not presented in any real order. Secondly, they use really long indecipherable canned phrases to explain why did not process certain claims. There are too many columns with with confusing titles and numbers in them that don't seem to add up. Successive statements have redundant claims, but unless you read the explanation, it's hard to determine what's being repeated due to "updated information" for the said charge, and which one's are actually new charges. It's terribly frustrating. Then there's the insecurity of never knowing whether faxed or mailed claims ever really make it through the process.

Then I think about my parents and other immigrants from their generation. If you never mastered the language, how on earth can you navigate the confusion that is America's healthcare system and insurance system. I think I read and speak English pretty well. Yet, I am so constantly confused and disheartened by the documentation around healthcare. I can't even begin to imagine the challenge for a non-native speaker and immigrant. How unfriendly the whole experience must be.

I haven't even begun to talk about FSA - Flexible Spending Accounts. What a waste of my time on so many levels! Yeah, the pre-tax thing is nice, but I'm starting to think that all the time I waste on validating rejected charges, and all the time wasted with it hanging over my head, makes it not worth it.

Tomorrow I am going to call the insurance company and find out why they did not approve the claims for the OB-GYN. I hope they don't push back, or I am going to be really pissed...

Lina in her crib

Every day that goes by, Lina becomes more and more interactive. She likes to lie in her crib and stare at this artwork lamp thingy that Liz made and hung from the ceiling. Poor description I know. We also just got her another mobile which she likes too but gets a little to excited about sometime. We're also learning more about her. We know that right after feeding, she has a period of quiet alertness. She flaps her arms, kicks her legs, and smiles. Here's a clip!

Happy Anniversary, babe!

7 years! Can you believe it!?
Happy Anniversary, Liz!

7 Top* things I love about Liz
(*for those who appreciate nuance, not the top 7, because it's hard to definitively identify the absolute top 7)

1. She's a great friend, my best friend. After seven years of marriage we still really enjoy each other's company and have not run out of things to talk about. (at least from my perspective! ha)
2. She's a great mother. Nothing more attractive to me than seeing how much she loves our daughter. More on this later. I am floored by the capacity that she has to love Lina and to continue to give and give, even when the proverbial gas tank is way past empty. Way past. Even as I am at work today she's probably four hours into bouncing and rocking her endlessly, walking around the apartment with Lina in the sling!
3. She's beautiful!
4. She loves to travel - we had a nice run there. Four cities in five years. And lots of trips in between. Although we miss Taipei and NY (not Philly, mind you), we love being in LA with our families right now. Right here, right now.
5. She's smarter than me. But she's not showy about it - she's less arrogant and loud than me. Surprise, surprise. Not many people know she's Phi Beta Kappa. She keeps me sharp and in line. I make a lot of stupid declarations but it's impossible to slip my not fully-baked views past her! Keeps me on my toes and humble!
6. She has a great family. I really appreciate her family. In today's world of dysfunctional families, it is a great honor and privilege to be a part of the Liu/Wang clan.
7. She has a great taste for European (French, in particular) fashions - for babies. ; - )

that's just 7 off the top of my head!

I was going to list some other "7 top things" - 7 top memories, 7 top trips, 7 high/low moments, etc. But I am simply too tired.

Anyway, we are going on our first dinner date today since Lina came into the world. My folks are coming over to babysit. Wish us luck! We'll probably be anxious the whole time!

Update: Went out to dinner and back. It was nice, but we were really tired. Liz came up with a great idea. Hopefully an entrepreneur out there will go and build it. Yes, a quiet dinner in Santa Monica was nice. But what would have been way better for us right now would have been a place where we could go to relax, lounge, and take a nap. And get fed at the same time. How would that work? Oh, maybe padded lounge chairs, with relaxing music, and an IV for a nutritious meal. Who has time to nap and eat? We could bring our exhausted selves to this nonexistent place, relax and catch up on sleep in a nice environment, but also get a healthy meal via IV. And if we really wanted to taste the food but not do the work (chew/swallow), maybe they could just make a lollipop type thing we could suck and have the flavors (filet mignon, chilean sea bass, etc.). Haha. That's what we talked about on our first dinner date post-delivery!

More Angelina Pictures

More pictures from the last week - mainly for our sisters and my mom, who are my main consistent readers, as far as I can tell from the comments and Google Analytics. I do get a few hits from random places around the world, but not sure who those folks are.


Cute brown onesie from Auntie Tamara, my colleague at 75 Rock. Thanks Tamara!

The Phabulous Philly-LA Ladies Club (and their kids)

Liz and I lived in Philadelphia from 2003 to 2005. Wharton (and Lauder) was an amazing experience. But it was in Philadelphia. Before I go further, I'll say that Liz and I did enjoy Philly and still think that it is an under-rated city and frequently gets a bad rap. However, it ain't NYC and it ain't LA or SF. And so the main downside of getting into Wharton was that it was in Philly. Many people who went to Wharton had to "drag" their partners - spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends - to Philly for the two years. And to make it worse, business school was an all-consuming endeavor. Yeah, there was studying - but tons of everything else - business networking, social networking, socializing, running student clubs, trips, learning team meetings, pub, etc. It was a 24/7 thing. Liz was my biggest supporter, and I owe her big-time for coming to Philly with me. Well, one of the things I'm most thankful for is that fact that she befriended Charice and Janet.

The picture above is from this past week. Charice and Janet (and her beautiful daughter Agnes or "Ajou") came over to have lunch with Liz and Lina. (Charice's twins - Maddy and Max, were at home) Charice's husband, Ko Kobayashi (not the hot dog champ) and Janet's husband, Taos Huskey, were classmates of mine from the class of 2005. They all happened to be from LA. And the three Asian American ladies had a lot in common. I was grateful that - in the midst of being dragged to Philly and often abandoned by their husbands while they(husbands) were off doing whatever their pricey educations required of them - they found some common ground and could hang out. Charice even took Liz out on our anniversary during the summer of '04 when I was off in Singapore doing my internship.

Charice and Ko, and their twins, literally live minutes away. Taos and Janet are not that far away either. It's good to be back in LA with some friends who went through Philly with us!

Here's Ko, Charice, Liz and myself in Delaware at "Joe's Crabshack" - the desperate things we Californians did to get a taste of home. Couldn't find a picture with Taos and Janet, but then again I didn't look very hard. It's past midnight and Lina just went down. And I have to wake up in a few hours for a NY conference call.

Found this picture of me and Liz in Rittenhouse Square during winter. Good times in Philly...

3rd Gen American and ID4

On this Independence Day, it did not escape me that my daughter was born into privilege. I'm not saying that she was born into great wealth, as defined by Hollywood or Wall Street, or that she has some huge trust fund to her name. Well, my insignificant 401(k) is all her's if she wants it. It won't really move the needle for her when gas is $10/gallon and university tuition is half a million bucks (in 18 years).

Without any doing of her own, she just happened to be born into the most powerful and prosperous nation on earth. Yes, it is a nation that has weathered some very bad PR during the past eight years, and a nation not without detractors and critics. We have made some huge mistakes, not just in the past eight years but in our existence as a nation. But so has every other nation. We happen to be a nation that can self-criticize, pick up ourselves when we fall, improve, and move forward.

I'm digressing a bit - this holiday always brings about some reflection about this country that I happened to be born in. I estimate that I've spent a third of my July 4ths abroad (many of them in Japan with my cousins during childhood summers). I could be off by a couple of years either way, but nevertheless, I've been away for a lot of ID4's. In the past several years, I was once in Kyoto, Japan for the Fourth, and once in Bangkok, Thailand. I always feel especially patriotic, and proud, when I'm abroad. Although I spent this holiday indulging in BBQ's across LA, and trying to make sure Lina survived each outing, I did find a few moments to appreciate this country. Back to my daughter...

She has no idea, obviously, that she is a 3rd-generation Taiwanese American immigrant in the USA. She has a citizenship that millions only dream to have. She was born onto a very uneven playing field. In this case, she has the upper hand. Just because she was born on US soil, she is conferred all the "rights and privileges," associated with being a citizen. We all know what these privileges are when we stop to think about it. This country is the only place and context that would allow many of us to get to where we are and where we eventually want to be, whatever that means.

She also happens to be born into a family that loves her, with four grandparents, tons of uncles and aunts, and many cousins and second-cousins. All adoring fans of her, who will stand by her side through her life. That's a lot...and she didn't have to do a single thing. The complete opposite is true for millions...

Reflections on America, Independence Day, immigrant life, my daughter, family, etc.. all jumbled up without much flow...

Update...
After posting this a couple of hours ago, I have a follow-on thought. The United States is indeed a great nation. I certainly don't take this status for granted. Now that I have a kid, a daughter, I am even more hyper-aware of the perception of the United States outside of the country. I can't tell you how many times I have sat in bars, cafes, brassieries, and tea shops around the world listening to people rant and rave about our government. Much of is true, some of it is misconstrued. And I don't blame them. The decisions of the U.S. affect everybody. Well, now that Lina is in the world, I have more of a vested interest that this country stays great and doesn't do more damage than good to the world. As such, I am very very interested in this coming election. I'm definitely going to be commenting on it.

2 months / 9 weeks

What kind of look is this?
Hanging out with her goose...

Can't figure out how you technically count the months. Angelina is now officially 9 weeks and 1 day old. Does that make her 2 months and 8 days? Or is she only 2 months and 3 days, since her birthday is the 3rd of the month? Not that it matters. Supposedly, though, there are some really amazing "breakthroughs" at 3 months. I hear that she'll start sleeping 12 hours a night straight through and stop crying altogether. hehe.

July 4th Weekend

We had a pretty eventful July 4th weekend - four different backyard - pool - BBQ-type events. Lots of friends and family. Lina was a real trooper, but I think it took a lot out of her. Today we just stayed home and recovered. Well, she recovered.

Here we are at our old friend Queena Wei's big 3-0 bash!


At the Lee's "Hampton's home" on the East Side (j/k, San Marino) for a pool party with all the cousins. These two are a bit young for the pool so they are chillin' as usual. Notice the patriotic attire. Since it always takes a while to get the right shot, I just decided to post several of them for fun.



Also went to Liz's cousin Esther and Ed Ho's fabulous house for some BBQ, but I don't have any pics. If someone sends me one I'll be happy to post!